This stupid, stupid week has taken a turn for the worse. The pain returned and I could see it coming from a mile away, stalking me, mocking me, slowly inching closer until its entire black cloud completely covered me and all of my thoughts. It hasn't been this bad in a long, long time. Actually woke up in the middle of the night absolutely convinced that this time it was it. This time I was dying...and as long as it made the pain go away, I was totally ok with it. Looking back, I know now that I must have been in a very low place. Scary. I don't like that. 4 days, 3 doctor visits, 1 trip to the ER, and enough new meds to make me feel like a really UN-useful old hag lady. Today is the first day relatively pain free (3/10...which I can deal with...) but the after effects are still strangling me. Give it up already. GIVE IT UP!!! Give a girl a chance already huh?
In the doctor's office today, I drew strength from a little crappy calendar on the wall that was poorly put together. (Like me. How cute.) No idea who wrote it, and that's ok too:
"We live far more joyfully when we allow ourselves a playful spirit."
Does this imply that people ARE able to live joyfully, playfully, happily? I SOOO want in on some of that. I'm trying to keep my head up. Doing the best I can. But dammit, this is just getting ridiculous.
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That is quite possibly the best quote that I have heard all year and your writing style flows with emotions that pretty much explode from the screen.
Don't give up. This is your chance to be heard and for more people to care. I check your blog practically everyday, hoping that you'll have more good news and that you'll tough it out and you do.
Today is another day down, another day survived. Hopefully tomorrow won't be too cold where you are and you'll feel better : )
Also, I don't know if you like Jim Carrey but I'm sure that you'd enjoy a movie called "Yes Man". Just a thought.
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