Saturday, December 4, 2010

Never thought in all my years (which to be honest, isn't THAT many) that I would be here. That I would be this. That I would be so.... undefined? I'm pretty sure I know who I am. I know where my soul is drawn and where it's not. I don't have any inclination of who I am or who I am supposed to be without relfecting.


How am I reflected back by the ones I love and choose to surround myself with? I have no one left to reflect to. I am OK not having a mirror; it makes me feel that much less visible. And I long to be ABSOLUTELY INvisible. I long to plod along, do my part, avoid direct interaction, make people happy with unexpected anonymous little what-nots. I like to make jokes and think that they're funny. I like to be a sounding board for others. I like others to know that I will LISTEN to their words, and HEAR what they are saying. I need not plan my next wise words in response. No response is necessary when one is truly listening.

And I will never let anyone else in.

Im far more this:
'Little Miss you'll go far,
Little Miss hide your scars,
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about...'

When my path tells me I have the potential for this:
"Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." - CT Studd