Monday, February 16, 2009

Another day

The rain came down and it was so beautiful. I can bitch with the best of them, but I live in a beautiful part of the middle of nowhere. The trees did fall. The power didn't go out.

I hate that my current stability is in the hands of a prescription antidepressant manufacturer. I have tried valiantly to survive and carry on without them. I fail. I have succeeded in not succumbing to any other forms of self medication. Point: me.

It scares me to death to be at the complete mercy of another, be it a person, a situation, medication, what have you. I hate to not be in control. It drives me batty. Yet at the very same time I secretly wish that one mighty person could break into my life and take each aspect and orchestrate it gently, affirmatively, boldly, lovingly and care that I survive the day.

1 comment:

Want to make you mine... said...

I hate taking pills but since I've gotten sick this past week, I don't feel so bad when I take something that will make me feel normal.

What normal is, is up to self-interpretation but it's nice not to feel as anxious, depressed or ill be it medicated or not. Simultaneously, I openly hope that you find this "mighty person" one day who can be your companion but I'm sure that you can do this on your own as well. You seem to be doing well so far : )

By the way, how is your mentor/mentee thing going?