Sunday, January 18, 2009
It's out there
Many things are at alternating poles of my life. I can't get them to meet in the middle; I can't explain the differences, and they constantly intrigue me. There's a budding desire in me to not just be busy in life, but to be effective. Someone I know has a sticker that says "Look busy, Jesus is coming." I think this is funny and I think it's annoying all at the same time. I don't want to fill my life with ridiculous possessions and fear-laden thoughts. I yearn to be more than just another human who is taking up air. I want to be more. What is holding me back? Then, as if this side of me may not even exist, I'd relish in just sitting back and taking a ride. I want to be on someone else's ride in life, where I don't have to make decisions, where I'm not forced to remember anything that made me ME. I want to be the passenger and take in all the beauty of the world, the country side, the sunrise, LIFE. I know it's out there. So, do I have to get outside my own life in order to learn to enjoy life, so I can take it back in my secret pocket and try to work it into my every day life? Why does it have to be so complicated? Why am I incapable of going from point A to point B in an orderly fashion? I could save so much time in this life if I just had a map and a key. Any ideas?
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3 comments:
You sound so restless to the point that it reminds me of me a few weeks back. I was in a rough spot mentally with some old issues and just wanted to get out of here and see the world. The only thing with me is that I don't have anything holding me back except for the issue of possibly dealing with the regret of not staying and working things out.
My advice, plan a week off in your near future and go somewhere you really want to go. I took a week off of work and drove 23 hours back to home town to visit family and drove 25 hours back to visit an old friend in need of company. It was just nice to be able to escape from it all for a short while. Just make sure that you have plenty of CDs or a good co-pilot to talk to on your travels. It's always nicer to have someone there to hold the camera : )
I have such a soft spot for the introspective and Romantic... My idea, since you asked, is that some people aren't meant to go from point A to point B in an orderly fashion. We/they just aren't designed that way. Don't judge yourself by the standards you see around you. There are as many ways to do life right as there are people doing it.
Wow, I wish I could have said it like Last of the Fauxicans did.
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